I had my IPPT at Maju camp this morning. I woke up at around 6.30 am and headed off to Maju drive. I am surprised that I feel excited and not negative about it. Maybe it is because deep inside me I thought that no-one would be sane enough to wake up so early to do IPPT and thus the duration would be relatively fast. My target time to be back at home was 9 am.
=_=
I was wrong. There was like almost one hundred of us there. And the medic and the safety rover was not there on time. Its a classic case of rush to wait and wait to rush.
I need to remind myself that I need to bring a 20cent coins for my iPhone (locker) and a watch in the future.
I failed the chin up...expected.
I came in at 10s for my shuttle run....not expected. I used to do under 9s.
I jumped a distance of 230 (forgotten the unit)... expected. I used to do 250 and above.
I did the bare minimum of 30 sits up.
I came in 14.46 mins for my 2.4 run. I need to shave 2.06 minutes off it.
I think I am very much inspired by him. He is the guy from the Visa commercial. Looking at this vid makes me feel that there are so much to look forward to and that there are so many places that I have yet to go.
....I know I will be lonely.
It is scary to see old Kenneth alone and wasting away in a corner. With his meagre savings, and some governmental assistance, he managed to book a place in the run-down geriatric centre. With no-one to care for himself, he lay there thinking back at the times he was haughty and young. An immature mind that only keen on exploring the world, living a life that he imagined and generally an aimless guy that threw his road-map away.
He lay there thinking of a million what-ifs. Yet, as life slowly left him, he was comforted that his funeral arrangements have been organised and prepared. Just like he would if he was still doing his audit work. Checklists, cross-referencing and tick-marks suddenly made no sense now.
He wondered, how good if there were someone with him now, by his bed. He wondered, how good if there were someone offering comforting words. Death is a scary notion of which no-one survived to tell the tale. Deep in his heart, he know that Death would mean an end. No more memory, no more living. He loved his life. And living. To be able to see and feel and walk around. Yes. The chapter is ending. And without anyone to see the last page and last words.
As I stared out of the window, I couldn't help but notice that the scene in front of me resembles the current state of my life. The future is there but its so fuzzy that it seems so surreal. I feel so weak in the face of the running days. Things are getting out of my control. It seems that I don't feel right.
I feel that I have so much to learn, so much to do and so much to achieve. Yet, I really have no idea what is going on. I have lost myself. I have thrown my road-map in exasperation and have decided to wonder around aimlessly.
Till another day, till another time.
As part of my therapy towards self discipline and focus, I have decided to force my brain and hands to work together to blog every other two days, ie, the next post should be on 6th Feb 2009.
It is kind of ironic that people should think of me as a very disciplined person with a strong sense of the future. If indeed, they should be referring to someone else. To my own chagrin, I lack self discipline. I have embarked on many personal projects, but many of them lay in ruins.
New year resolution rarely make that list of success which I have few. In retrospect, there are so many things that I did not follow through. I tend to let things ride along and adopt a day after day view of the affairs of the world.
I know in a really short time it will be 4 Feb 2010. But how much of self discipline will I have gained? Tell me again in a jiffy.
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