2009 Mirror and Smokes 9002

To the tune of CS... he has just been confirmed as the most irritating guy that I have ever met for the current period. Luckily its only 5 more days. Let me see, Sunday night, Monday night, Tuesday night, Wednesday night, Thursday night.. I am moving out by friday night.

He is so inconsiderate. First-class honours for him for this category of award. It is so exasperating that I have to bear his nonsense. I hope that he just disappears, well of course, that is not really possible considering that this is the real world. If its in a fantasy world or tv.......he would be long gone....

I hope his irritating face is rotting to the tune of the rubbish dump.

I hope someone will teach him a lesson that he will never forget. Oh come on, just get the hell out of here!

I can remember a similar style of ranting a couple of years ago when that CS pissed the hell out of me. This is the re-enactment of what happened a few years ago. This is plain bull-shit. And I hate his voice. My brain is now shunning his stupid voice. Nothing concrete will get into my head. Why am I stuck with this piece of shit?

I hope he will just vanish into the thin air. Like literally. And his things along with him please. I don't want to help him pack.

I was referring to the solar eclipse blog. It is the classic case of blogging for the sake of blogging. But I am happy with the fact that I have established a sort of base. I have a place for all my stuff....Soup. Was playing around with tumblr awhile ago but I find that it is painfully slow in retrieving my stuff...

So here I am... finally a dedicated place to put all my stuff and to share and remember my life on the virtual world.

Twitter tweets - my short messages to the world...be it ranting, complaining or just simply what am I doing.

Blogspot posts - A little more than twitters in relating some part of my life that I wish to just go on and on.

Flickr photos - Photolog of where I have been and been doing. Just need more refinement and it will be good.

Delicious links - What I am linking and have been reading.

The title says it all...

It is amazing how selfish one can be. Of course nothing can amaze me anymore. To me, its just a confirmation that people are motivated by their own self-interest. Which is fine. I can totally understand that.

I am not sure why I felt a sense of injustice or anguish. Maybe because I thought better. Or maybe I am just trying to con myself into thinking that this is a good world. I threw my body out to lead a soul-less life and to walk the lonely path of life. A part of me wished the good of people. Yet, the more dominating part refused to accept that humanity is by nature good.

Yes. We are all selfish.

There was an event earlier this morning that united a lot of people. Its the solar eclipse that moved from the central belt of China to India. There was an air of expectation in the morning as everyone await the natural phenomenon eagerly.

We went out into the roof and started to see the event unfolding at around 9.24am. I saw the sun being eclipsed by the moon and rendering the crescent sun shape. I have seen an eclipse when I was in secondary three. There was an astronomy camp held in NYP.

I want to catch the full eclipse the next time round....

In the late afternoon, I received a news from my colleague that someone died on the fifth floor. For a moment, I was in shock. Outside of family, this was how close Death was to me. I pondered the fragility of life and prayed for the deceased. Praying, not to assuage my guilt, but to hope that his/her family would not be devastated whether economically or emotionally by the passing.

I suddenly thought of my own mortality. I just feel tired having a constant nagging thought that I will dead next moment. I have always imagined my own death. Through old? That would be quite hard for me to bear because I am an impatient man. I hate the feeling of waiting. Through accident? There is always this "I still have so much to see and do".

With a heavy heart, I resumed to work, as it takes pain and worries away from me......

The days were slow and crawling back then. Just one week ago, I thought I would collapse. And now, I am here in Dongguan. Like they say, time is the best medicine for wounds. My recent trip to the abyss is a stark reminder that life is never easy. I used to think, for some people, they have their life planned out for them and all it takes is to walk it. Yet, I know this is no longer true, or rather was never true.

I believe they would have their fair share of angst and injustice. They have managed to pull themselves out and emerge stronger. Like Donald Trump. He has his ego and I believe he must feel hellish when he went into difficult times. However, I always believe that tough times and events make people stronger. I used to like pain and like to do endurance activities. Its not that I am a sadist, but rather I really appreciate the after-effect. During my army days, being on out-field training was terrible. No place to sleep properly, no place to bath, no place to have a decent shit, camo cream on your face for days and mosquitoes. But, I really enjoy the moment when we were back in the bunks. Cold water shower...arhhh. Clean clothes.....arhhh. Instant noodles with luncheon meat and hotdogs....arhhh. And of course, the bed.

I think for the past 4 years in university and at work, I seemed to be too comfortable. My level of endurance dropped to nothing. I give up easily and will find the easy way out. My brain is conditioned to feel "leisure", "comfort" and "relax". Whenever I am doing work, my brain would be swirling with images of me lying on my bed, surfing net, enjoying a late morning breeze. And indeed, I would just give up on my work (procastinate till further notice) and head back home or to simply shut my computer down.

I have lost my tenacity to do the things that I like. I don't dare to take up courses now because I already know that I will procastinate and fail the courses. My lack of discipline is so serious that I am actually glad that that has happened. Like the chinese saying, "当头棒喝", this is a tocsin that I would probably remember for quite sometime.

In times, I would probably go back to my old way. Yet, I hope the future Kenneth would take a look at this post again. Once is enough.

A lot has been through my mind these few weeks. The future. The what-ifs. The grimness of life in general. Its really wearing me out and I can no longer laugh at life. I think I need to move on, like I always do. Perhaps I can't be tied down and pretend that life is a continuous melodrama which I can control. The fact is, in spite of everything, the river of life is just carrying me on. I am breaking apart sooner than I expected. And every effort to conceal the cracks only exacerbate the crumbling my life.

I don't want to go to sleep now. I enjoy the tranquil night. The silence of a sleepy city. The occasion rumbling of the engines. The droning of my fan. Faint whispers of the wind. Darkness is a cooling tea to the throat of a thirsty city. The heat. The noise. The people. The dust. All these fade away to welcome the night.

As I stared out of the window. I wonder how many people are refusing to sleep. And yet, they are enslaved to the routine of waking up early for work. What do we want? What do I want?

Met up with my JC mates on friday night. It was a bigger group and some of them I have not seen in years. Lixia, Shuzhen, Apple, Yunita, Xinyi, Fiona, Melvin, Zhenshen, FY, CY, SB and KK....almost everyone was here... We had dinner at Dome, which by the way is located at the main entrance of Marina Square (I got lost looking for it). I had Cesar salad with salmon and ice latte.

I left earlier to catch Transformer 2. It was better than what my peers and brother told me. The plot although was a bit thin and predictable but I like how simple ideas like co-existence, friendship and faith was put across. Of course, the cool animations!

I cabbed back at around 2.30am and along the way I saw the massive queue at ComCentre. Its really mad and I think Singtel still has not learnt its lesson after almost a year. And to think that I am going for the crazy queue in less than 6 hours time.

In the end, I reached there at around 1pm and queued for 5 hours. The experience wasn't good but it was definitely better than the first time round. Finally, at around 6.30pm, I got my iPhone 3GS!!!!!

I must admit, the sense of exuberance is not there. With the similarity in model, and we got to experience OS 3.0 and a host of reviews and video presentations, the initial kick is not there as of the first iPhone I have gotten.

Well, to be fair, the new iPhone is great. I totally dig the video function and I think I will be using it most of the time.

Me and Derrick then rushed to the Indoor Stadium. The journey there was ferried by a clueless taxi driver who, in my opinion, is someone who does not have any opinions at all. He did not know what he was doing and at least we know our way around, what if his next customer does not know? Will he just sit in his seat and keep asking, "So how do you want to go? I don't really know the way there." He is totally hopeless....from Queenstown to Kallang. What supposed to be a linear drive from my place, to city, up Nicoll Highway and exit to Kallang stadium. He simply went up north to Toa Payoh, headed to Sims and into Kallang.....=_=

Ok enough of bad stories of horrid drivers.

Sun Yanzi's concert was really great. It was uplifting and I really like her voice. It was round and powerful. One thing that stood out was the stage and effects. There was a part where she was on top of a floating platform, sang and played the piano. And the most amazing part was the hologram! It was something that I have not seen before. The image looks like the real thing! She did 2 encores before the whole event ended.