Here I am lying on my blog with a bloated tummy. I am sure it is not bloated because I had a heavy dinner, which, in fact, I had none. I had almost nothing except for a chinese pear from around 1pm onwards. I had this very nauseating feeling when I was on the cab. I can taste my vomit. I feel like sleeping.
I am currently listening to JJ and Charlene Choi's Little Dimples. Hoping that it will sooth my pain. Well, its not really painful per se, just feels that my body is collapsing upon itself and my brain is releasing many glasses of red/white/yellow wine into my bloodstream. I feel very weak. And for a better word..."nua". Oh man, I found the cantonese version on youtube...so good! JJ sounds funny in cantonese, but I applaud for his effort.
Ok...the bloatness is going away. But I still feel sleepy....
The traveling bug is biting me too badly. Currently, there are three destinations that I really want to visit. The first is up north at Nordic region. FY was suggesting that we have a trip there. Norway looks promising. An exotic place that I would want to visit for its cold, the cliffs, and the nordic sky.
I have wasted the whole monday away doing nothing. Nothing! What happened to all the determination and tenacity that I have lied to myself to get me moving? What happened to the burning desire? It seems that once that I am back in Singapore, all the lies become apparent. I felt betrayed by my ownself. There is nothing more hurting than to be deceived by yourself.
I can't trust myself anymore.
How can I get moving? How do I push myself. I really hope that a big brother can just slap me out of it. The darkening evening sky is giving way to the night. Just as my aspirations is dimming itself to the black lies. The question remains, how do I pull together to transform these lies into promises. Into a motivating force that will propel me to go forward.
Move. Damnit. Move.
The first stop was at Dongguan, where the HQ resides. It is a scaled down model of the modern day government with all its bureaucracy and civil servants. However, I saw the workings of management. How managing became important, especially, you have over hundreds of subsidiaries and sales offices all over China. And I have a different opinion of how Taiwanese works. It is of no wonder that I think Singapore lags badly behind in terms of doing business in China. There is simply too much to learn from them. Chinese and Taiwanese alike. I need to make a mental note. To work in Taiwan and China, and to learn the way of handling people and the art of conversation from them.
I spent around 6 days in HQ and I lost weight there. The lunch was simple. Really simple. Vegetables and small traces of meat. Dinner was better, much like home-cooked food. Breakfast was at the hotel. I have been eating salad for a few weeks. The reason is good. I felt lighter.
I headed to Hangzhou airport first. Things looked bad. I almost can't fly to Hangzhou Xiaoshan airport. My client bought the domestic tickets using my chinese name, which was not reflected in my passport. =_=|||. I had to show them my i/c, which they didn't acknowledge, but in the end, they just let me go. I was late for boarding but due to some weather reasons, the airplane din take off in time. And my luggage managed to catch up with me and got loaded into the airplane.
My client picked me up from the Hangzhou airport and headed to Jiaxing. Jiaxing was like other cities I went to. Communism has created a funny sight. Everything the same. The client was really nice. And I learnt something from the Sales Office Manager, Tian. He simplifies and summarizes ideas. He is sharp and to the point. Something that I sorely lacked. The accountant is really helpful and tried her best to assistant the audit work.
The next stop is Shanghai. And I dare say, it will become the New York of the East in another 10 years. The city is flowing with an energy that is culminating and its going to blow up soon. Here lies another issue. Can the political force match up to the burgeoning city energy? I would want to work in Shanghai! There is so much opportunity to learn and to see. Of course, at the point in time, I could not see where I would be in the next 5 years. But definitely somewhere else. London, New York, Sydney, Shanghai, Hong Kong.
I visited the city and I was impressed. Xin Tian Di was a place that I have only seen in New York. Singapore's clarke quay is only some much. Culture, checked. History, checked. Sky-scrapers, checked. Food, checked. Empty lands, checked. Everything a metropolis is, checked. Like a sapling ready to burst into a tree. Of course, there are other forces in place. Politics, people and policies. These are the key components that will continue to shape Shanghai.
After visiting the busiest city in China, I went over to the more scenic Hangzhou. It is easy to see why Jiangnan was frequently mentioned throughout the history. Poems, stories and even Emperors seemed to love the place. The Western Lake is mesmerizing. And there are the Yue Fei temple, the Broken Bridge where Madam White Snake met Xu Xian and where the Song poet Su Dongpo left his verses. The city looked relaxed and a sense of tranquility will cloak anyone who just stroll along the Western Lake. And the city also offered a great night life and shopping. I drool over the food especially the Tang Chu Pai Gu, Dongpo rou and the Xi Hu Fish.
On my last my two days, I checked myself into a hotel in the Hangzhou city. The hotel that my Client gave me was too out of the way and its really not as fantastic. On the day that I left, I took a 3 hour ride on the bus from Hangzhou to Shanghai. And spent my last few hours in China in Shanghai airport. Then I zipped back to Singapore at around midnight. It was a great 3 weeks!
What is it to hold on? So fearful of letting go. What is the fear? Is it the great unknown of which what will eventually happen should I just let go, without the comfort of the knowledge that the thing is still within my procession? Yes. As much as I like to say that I embrace changes, I don't. I take comfort in knowing that my life is a movie that keeps on playing. Verily it is not.
It seems like my study life is so far back and now I am slowly morphing into a working machine. And, of course, I am the luckier one. I have seen but I will never understand sufferings. My so-call Armageddons are nothing but pebbles in the life-path.
The things I so jealously guard and hold are just illusions of comfort. What does it take to become a Kenneth?
I have taken the first step.
My msn nick. Its changed from <
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