2009 Mirror and Smokes 9002

I just came back from a strange long trip that has invigorated my spirit. Having lost touch with myself today, I panicked. It was a depressing day as I saw the time just flow away, like how Kronus swallowed his children. The personification of Time was a grim reminder that he is limitless and yet limited. I always believed that Time is only a concept imprinted onto everything on this earth. Why? We are limited. We have a limited lifespan. There is only so much we can achieve. We are imprisoned by this constant notion of death. Time, hence, becomes a very important concept.

I hate the feeling of wasting Time.

I hate the myself for so wantonly and blatantly let Time pass.

I have a very weak control of myself. I let myself down many a times. The feeling of disappointing myself is far greater than anything. The nudging thought of "am I really good for this world?" "What have I achieved?"

Just this evening, I started walking away from my home and towards somewhere. This somewhere was an unknown to me and I really have no idea where was I heading. As I walked, I saw new things. Parts of Queenstown that lay eluded from the day-to-day life. I walked for a good 1.5 hours.

During this time, I was refreshed. I am a person that is easily bored. And I appreciate life and what it has to offer. I embraced new things readily and hungrily. This walk woke me once more.

There is so many things that I really want to do. For one, I want to learn photography. I want to capture and create images that touch people. That makes people see a different view. I want to have a book published. "Ken you see?" is the title. I want to take photographs of places no-one would even remember that exists in Singapore. Little obscure corners. Buildings that we have forgotten. Trees and railway tracks. Misty meadows. I want people to stop and for that short moment as they see the photographs, to have the same feeling as I did this evening. Wow, there are so much more things.......

Yes.

The life bug is biting me. I have come to a point where Time is a serious consideration. No longer can I say... "I have a few good years more to waste". That was 3 years ago.

What to do? Where to go? How to achieve? When to make all these happen?